Heaven and earth will disapear, but my words will remain forver. However, no one knows the day or the hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows.” (Matthew 24:35-36 NLT)
I’ve heard this statement as long as I could remember. I’ve read this Scripture throughout my life time, and during my youth, I would become afraid because of my lack of understandings. Although my great grandmother instilled this form of fear within me, without the proper or personal understanding, how could I fathom this thought process. Hearing that Christ would one day return in a moment – in a twinkling of an eye – any second. ..could scare any child into a stressful way of living.
During my early teens, I realized that it was impossible for me to live without making mistakes. Shucks, most of my childhood issues dealt with non-compliant behaviors that kept me in a category of “the troubled child.” I struggled daily with many weaknesses…some that would taunt me way into my adulthood. In reading over the ten commandments alone, I realized that I could not meet the requirements of passing the test. So, like many that have been exposed early on in fear to live a Godly life within the church, I walked away. As I reached my adulthood, I found that my anger toward the things I remembered about the judgmental church, made me believe that God turned away from me.
In the midst of my wayward life, I often thought about my great grandmother’s words, “Jesus is coming back!” As much as I tried to forget my background and fit into the world, the more I was reminded by the world that the Word of God was being revealed in every day life. But it wasn’t until I felt alone in the midst of so many friends surrounding me every day, when I realized that I was missing something in my life. That feeling tugged at me so strongly, that the trick of the enemy in my mind was to give up. I didn’t believe that happiness would come. I didn’t feel that I could overcome my daily battles – mostly within my own mind. But while I was feeling defeated daily, God was working on me. I became paranoid and uncomfortable around the scene I once felt safe in. “Jesus is coming back!” Those words began to shout out to me in my sleep. I fought with the dark each night, so much that I was afraid to fall asleep. I can remember, even while in my sin, I would find myself repenting each night in fear that I’d miss Jesus – just in case He did return.
So what brought me back?
I had a personal experience with God in my bedroom one day. No church service, no elderly mother praying over my head, and no inspirational speaker telling me that I could make it. In the midst of my just about ready to take my own self out in the flesh, something supernatural happened to me. My assigned angels entered my room, and a battle took place over my soul. Although fear grasped me suddenly, the outcome of the moment(s) resulted in such a peace, that I could not fully understand. The experience was so heartfelt, that I began, as a man, to cry out to the Lord…calling on the name of Jesus. I could not say another word.
Following that moment, I began to pray. I began to ask for better understanding of His Word. I began to search the Scriptures daily for myself. I had to find a Bible believing ministry to help mentor me in a spiritual way in order to grow. I became fascinated with the fact that Jesus did love me. All that I was searching for was always there waiting for my return. In my spirit, I saw that He never left me alone. I had to not only open my heart and mind listening to the Word, but pray daily for a better understanding of the Word of God.
So now I await earnestly for His return as the sign of the times are being revealed each day. But, as I wait, I asked God to use me as His vessel to spread the Word. Not as a leader with a title, but as His child sharing the love He has shared with me. Stay encouraged and know that God is the way, and that He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus, to suffer, bleed, die, and rise again – just for you and me to have eternal life with the Father.
Peace and blessings, always,